During my (so-far) twenty-three-year stay on planet Earth, a total of about twenty-two years and six months have seen me kept within a thirty-mile radius; forty max. I even decided to enrol at a relatively nearby University so I could just get a short train back if necessary. Of course, the recent hikes in rail fares have made a mockery of my life's plans. But in the year-and-a-half of Uni-life, I've discovered that there are, in fact, places outside of my hometown where folks from all walks of life form close-knit communities and generally get along. Then again, maybe that's just what campuses are supposed to do. Outside of the bubble, however, (i.e. home) the unkempt general populace drag down the reputation of the human race and the scenery of the surrounding area is disgusted at humanity's antics that it doesn't feel like presenting itself as anything more than a series of boarded up buildings and vomit puddles.
Earlier in the summer, I spoke of a midnight spat amongst locals of differing opinions and states of intoxication. Fast-forwarding to a couple of days ago, if that particular syntax doesn't make your brain leak, I set to embark on my regular painfully long walk to my place of employment in the sunshine, whilst wearing enough clothing to turn a simple work uniform into a personal fabric sauna after ten paces. During my journey, I came to a common alleyway shortcut. From my position, through a gap in the railings, my eyes caught sight of a car. But there are never normally cars on this stretch of pavement. Perhaps it's a maintainence-work vehicle; after all, this area has recently been re-tarmacked. Perhaps they're doing some follow-up work of some kind. (My child-like brain doesn't understand a lot of the mechanics of the real world.) As I ventured on I saw a blue and white line blocking the alleyway on both sides. A little closer still and the coloured blockade bore the repeated inscription: POLICE TAPE: DO NOT CROSS.
'Great, now I'm gonna be late for work!' came my brain's initial response. The rising level of frustration from within my body's core turned the sauna into a paddling pool by the time I made it to work at a time that was, in fact, earlier than normal, even after stopping off for a polystyrene cup of tea on the way. The reason: the train was just about to come.
So you sit there and ask 'why would you put yourself through a torturous walk when there's a train right there?' and I respond by saying it's only one stop and I'm supposed to be saving every morsel of currency for the student year ahead. Plus the walk does me good. Now shut up and stop judging me.As the grand railway carriage arrived, my time to purchase a ticket was short and I'd have to risk the three-minute journey without a valid ticket, thus putting me in a questionably legal state of petty thief. Still, I suppose that as I'd already mentioned the mockery of prices going relentlessly skywards, I feel that it's only right that I mock the National Rail with this in return.
During the day, I recounted the events of the sweltering morning to my boss as a piece of idle chit-chat, only to be told that local Facebook rumours have pinned the alleyway closure and police involvement on the fatal stabbing of a youngster in the early hours. Multiple things happened within my mind at this time, all of which I'll present now in no particular order:
Shock in the form of an 'oh, my God, really?' response.
Loss of faith in humanity that one or more humans would and, in fact, do, carry out such acts on their fellow kin.
Woeful anticipation after a colleague suggests that 'this'll be on the local news tonight then, won't it?' and the fact that this probably isn't the last I'll hear of the local incident.
Guilt that I thought about my own problems of how I'm specifically affected when the ramifications of the events have proven worse for one person and their respective friends and family members.
Horrible realisiation that, while corruption and brutal maiming occurs on a daily basis all around the world, a person who has once walked on the same patches of road that I have has been physically attacked by way of a sharp implement being unwillingly thrust into the body causing immense pain.
That last one seemed to get me more than the others, even guilt. Then again I've mused about the notion of ego before and, therefore, feel it's mostly out of my philosophical system and just exists as another part of life. But imagine being stabbed. I know you don't want to, it doesn't seem very pleasant. I don't want to either but once my mind's come up with a thought, it can't just simply unthink about it and instead just sits there waiting to be noticed. Again, I direct you to the notion of ego; even hypotheticals get narcissistic from time to time. But really, the thought of a blade or some other unwelcome visitor gatecrashing your insides genuinely terrifies me. The only comparison I can personally make to such a situation is that I've pricked my finger on some pin or needle or something before now. Rather than falling asleep for a hundred years or contracting hepatitis, however, I've just cursed or run it under a tap or yelled at the pin whilst throwing it across the room in the hope that I banish whatever evil currently possesses it.
I'm generally a nice person who keeps himself to himself and often seeks to help out others if necessary whilst wishing good health and fortune upon those who deserve it. But fuck that. The rest of the world doesn't care for nice. The rest of the world is a corrupt evil bastard, particularly 'round these parts. Even though I'm taking the world day by day, I keep finding myself wondering where I'll spend these days as a stable living environment and as each day goes past, this place seems a less and less likely candidate. The only problem is, where else do I have? Sure, there's the rest of the world, but the rest of the world is unknown, unexperienced according to my particular view of it, and as I've already mentioned, the rest of the world is a corrupt evil bastard. At least until proven otherwise.
The above incident never did appear on the local news that night, meaning even horribler things happened in other nearby places. May every deity from Allah to Zeus have mercy upon us all. Well, those who deserve it.
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