The Chocolate Spread Is A LIE!

So here's what happened right. I bought chocolate spread the other day because it looked funky. Here's how it was presented:

Pretty, right? Full of swirly and stripey goodness! In my head I thought 'This will definately make my toast-eating time much more fun and visually satisfying'. But how wrong can a child be? (I use the term "child" loosely to describe myself as, even though I may be chronologically twenty-one, I feel extremely young. Plus QI told me earlier that the cells in my body change every ten years so, technically, I'm never older than ten.)

However, as the chocolate was applied directly to toast (as the instruction manual in my head told me), its natural swirlyness was mortifyingly disturbed and consequently meant the toast became coated with a very uniform, normal "boring chocolate spread" effect. Observe!

And this is how shocked I was...

I know... I was that shocked.

Fin.