The Blog-Monster

Blogger has decided to go down meaning this has been delayed and all creative juices had been postponed earlier. What's more, it's decided to "temporarily" get rid of yesterday's entry for reasons too horrid to imagine. Let's imagine them anyway:

Hypothetical reason one: Gremlins are stuck in the Blogger-system.

Hypothetical reason two: That new notebook I ordered arrived, but I managed to irreversibly fuck up the screen resolution on it within the first two hours of ownership. (This has nothing to do with Blogger per se, but I'd like to think a considerable portion of the world revolves around me, otherwise what have I to live for?)

Hypofeticaw weason fwee: Last night, too many people simultaneously blogged about John Jedward and Edward Jedward (what do you mean that's not their surname?) as they destroyed Ireland's tourism prospects for the whole of the 2011-2012 financial year, causing the Blog-Monster to clap its hands to its ears, curl into a foetal position and piss and moan about how much it hates Eurovision, therefore cutting itself off from the world for hours.

Hypathuticool raisin thor: Google broke.

Happy-thumdiboo wozun five: The Internet is a figment of nothing and therefore cannot break down. It's all an illusion to piss off the simple man and the nonexistent reader.

Hybllbrrbabll brrbll six: Too much jibberish.

Taking all bets! One of these reasons must be true! Of course, these aren't bets for money, but your pride is potentially at stake here. As for my pride... well, I do this, so there's no point worrying about that any more.