Terribleness I've Forced My Body Through

It is at this point in life I would like to express my appreciation for the good folk at the Bachelors food company for making Barbecue Beef flavoured Super Noodles exist. I've unceremoniously put myself through the proverbial wars so much lately that such a gooey and flavoursome snack has provided light relief to my weary soul via my battered tongue that's been ravaged so much by sour sweets; quite frankly you'd probably be surprised if I told you that nobody's actually stubbed out a cigarette on my tongue if you looked at it. Other terribleness I've forced my body through these last few days include sleep deprivation, excessive eye-bleeding and co-ordinated hand and wrist crampage from playing far too much Mario Kart Wii, most of my insides refusing to go on, subsequently leading me to the conclusion that Jägermeister is no longer an optionable drink for me, and allowing myself to watch the infamous "Dennō Senshi Porygon" episode of Pokémon what got banned by the Japanese government after it put 700 kids in hospital after suffering seizures (ironically, the culprit of such erratic on-screen light patterns was a computerised ambulance). I tell you what, if being stabbed repeatedly in the gut by the "masterful hunter" doesn't make you think 'what the fuck am I doing with my life', being subjected to red and cyan strobing frames while you're trying to read the subtitles will.

Anyway, that's my busy week so far and it's yet to continue, which has made me quite wary that things are actually happening in my life to make it feel like I have a life. As opposed to doing nothing and not even trying to let my brain free on here for a bit, just to pass the time, I've been thinking to myself about how much I want to be writing stuff here but can't because I'm preoccupied by several other things at that precise moment, most of them often to do with bodily functions. It actually reminds me of the night on my recent trip to Germany where either my diet was so engulfed by salami and chocolate that my body could no longer handle it, or a very very very teeny tiny strain of the infamous E.coli popped it's head into my system for an hour or two, you know, for a quick hello. The night (or rather early morning) consisted of me lying nearest-naked on the cold tiled floor of the bathroom, although after putting a towel down first so as to reduce the coldness and ultimately making the exercise just that little bit more pointless. But I'm babbling, I shouldn't be including that here. It's all supposed to be in a special "Fun Summer Holiday" post which I am still yet to create with my arsenal of words. Chances are I'll finally get it done by this time next year, just in time for next summer. Either way, it won't be for at least another week.

Oh yeah, I finally succumbed to boredom and committed the ultimate act of betrayal to myself... I set up an account on Twitter. Yes it's evil, and yes it's only really for people who are popular or people with superiority complexes or people with God complexes or people with Universe complexes, but some of those people give out regular updates which I'd like to know about, and to be honest I like the 5-minute time-wasteyness of creating an account with something online. You know, the name, the email address, the password you intend to use which is exactly the same as your password for everything else. So now that exists, but I'm not directing anyone to it for two reasons:

reason Roman numeral i: I won't be "tweeting" anything there, and

reason Roman numeral ii: I feel that anyone who would want to read anything I put there is a complete moron.

Besides, it's a good thing I won't put anything there since character-limits seem to be the death of me. I struggle to stick to 140 words with these things, let alone characters. I had to write a short bio-"about me" thing in 160 characters or less and nearly lost the will to live.

Anyway, I haven't given out my Twitter name to anyone (and no it's not HardlyAmazing, quite frankly I'm bored of the name and all it stands for now but I'm living with it purely for the fact that it exists now), yet I've already been followed by two people from the United States who have names I don't even recognise. They apparently follow thousands upon thousands of people yet have no followers in return and no "tweets". Furthermore both of their web addresses include the words "live porn". Well done idiotface, you've become a spam target. Next I'll be followed by R0lex with a zero and the President of the Nigerian Bank Society. For now though, I shall ponder my next strategy as to whether I include a link to it here, even though:

Latin alphabetic symbol a: I won't be writing anything there, and

Latin alphabetic symbol b: Nobody reads this anyway, therefore any pre-conceived ideas of self-promotion don't just fall by the wayside but fall off the hard shoulder completely.

Having said that, I'm now questioning my choice of motorway metaphors since I don't even drive.