Squeaky Office Chair

As I write this, it's Wednesday morning. Hello future! How are you doing over there in November? It's October here. Sorry to be writing to you from the other side of Halloween but I'm a bit stuck over here. Let me clarify, the Internet's down in work. Well, by now it probably isn't, but for me, right now, making these words, it is.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not slacking off from work. I could've started writing this at 9:20. 9:20 rather than 9:00 because the ever-so-reliable trains evidently don't like the oncoming winter and have stumbled over more times in the past few weeks than I've had hot dinners. Incidentally, I almost wrote the phrase "winter is coming" in that last sentence, but corrected myself for fear of looking too Game-of-Thrones-referencey. Perhaps if I stop reading the damn saga, bit by tiny bit, on my train journeys, winter will go away and the rails will behave a bit more.

Alas, I'm writing this on or around 11:30 and I've done as much of my work as I can do without web access thanks to yesterday's research notes. As it currently stands, I'm sitting in my squeaky office chair, furiously tapping this out single-fingeredly onto a tablet in draft form. All the while, I'm looking up at my desktop screen every 40 seconds or so, hoping that the little yellow triangular warning icon over the Internet access icon will magically disappear.

I'm also about to be given what feels like my twelfth cup of tea of the day because what really else is there to do other than watch a kettle boil. I'm having just as much fun watching that yellow triangle perpetually denying me web access, even though I'm assured that whatever provider provides us is doing their behind-the-scenes magic to bat those little yellow triangles everywhere into oblivion.

In the meantime I'm left to ponder what to do for the rest of my time whilst stranded on a non-WiFi enabled island, shaped like a squeaky office chair. What should I have for lunch? Perhaps I could buy something nice from town whilst I'm out. Actually, on that front, how much money do I have in my bank. Hang on a sec, let me just log in and check.

DAMMIT!

Okay, new plan. How are you? Seriously. I never ask. Mostly because no one really comes here, but if you are here, hi, welcome, etc. How are you? Sorry for being so selfish all this time. I only ever come here to moan about things. My, this chair sure is squeaky. But it'd be nice to hear from you one, see how things are going.

Of course, you can't get in touch with me now. This friendly greeting hasn't been posted yet. I'm still in the past and you're all the way over there. And should you get in touch, chances are I won't receive your response now. I'll receive it sometime in the future, when I'm surrounded by all the web access I can swim through, and probably nowhere near a chair that makes incessant, high-pitched creaking noises whenever I shift my arse a bit.