Spent More Than Enough

Money-wise, I'm on my last ass right now. I would say I'm on my last legs but my bank balance is far too low now that not even metaphorical legs can save it. And as far as figures of speech go, the last ass seems more fitting. According to Andy Williams, it's the most wonderful time of the year, although sadly, I'm forced to disagree with the late crooner on that. Daylight hours are shorter, gas consumption is larger and retail establishments are crammed to the rafters with people throwing money about in exchange for pieces of tat they're not even buying for themselves, all because social and cultural protocol says so. Season's greetings.

Anyway I'm not being bitter about the festive period or retail, or indeed the festive period in retail. I've actually managed to reach a point where I'm fairly comfortable about the impending holiday, and to be even more accurate, I reached that point on Sunday night. All of my gift shopping for other people is done and all of those bits have been draped in colourful paper and shiny ribbons. I'm actually done with it early this year, or at least earlier than normal. Last year I did virtually all of my shopping on December 21st then spent a solid evening wrapping the heck out of it. The fact that this year I've managed to get everything finished whilst the month was still in single digits (i.e. the 8th). Go me!

In order to complete the task at hand, though, I've had to go a bit spend happy. In fact, over the last four days my debit card's seen more action than I have over the last twenty-four years. Slutty little bit of plastic; inserting itself into every slot it sees, ejaculating money like nobody's business. There's a mild chance I'm sexually frustrated right now, but then again that's nothing new. And as much as you probably don't want to be reading about such a topic... well... to be honest that's really what the internet's for now. Quite frankly, if you didn't want any of that, you shouldn't have come online in the first place. Weirdo.

Having such low funds right now means that I can't really splurge (which still hasn't stopped me from buying presents for myself alongside presents for others). Having to live on bread and water seems to be the order of business up until Christmas though now. Okay, it's not as drastic as that, but I think I'm allowed to exaggerate a fair bit if I want to continue utilising words in my life as some sort of career path. As it stands, though, my current working lifestyle is getting in the way. In fact, I'm probably supposed to be doing that right now. You know what, forget "probably". That is actually what I'm supposed to be doing right now. Besides, I've spent more than enough words today. Any more and I'll surely be facing some kind of word debt very soon. I should stop before I fall into any overdraft.

Bye.