Shameless Plug

Shameless plug, I know, but it's all finished now. If anyone's out there, watch this, now, or else...

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=43ACA74A985FEC8A

Oh Yes, I See How We Got There Now

I do, of course, feel as though I've made it in the Internet world. At least to some degree. I mean let's face it, in the vast majority of things I'm still an unknown wandering the wilderness of anonymity with the only company coming from my RL peeps (that's the people I know in "real life" in case any non-geeks were wondering). Not saying I don't like my RL friendlies, cos obviously I'm glad they're around, but still it would be nice to branch out a little on the Internet and touch the lives of some other wandering soul on the other side of the world. Why? Well, for the poops and giggles really... but most importantly to say that I CAN!

My best attempt at reaching out to those with a common interest is the currently ongoing (but almost nearing completion) task of displaying my skills at playing Spyro The Dragon (yes, that one what was made like 12 years ago) cos, you know, surely there's some lonely bored kid searching YouTube for odd videos related to the old game cos, you know, I am usually that lonely bored kid searching YouTube for odd videos related to the old game.

Despite my best efforts at notifying the good people at YouTube Towers that the material is not owned by my good self and have instead listed the folks who made that there game all that time ago, they kindly decided to notify me that the videos of me playing Spyro The Dragon contains music from Spyro The Dragon leading to a couple o' wee advertising banners popping up in the lower fifth of the frame. Banners including (last I checked) a link to iTunes for the music that one could pay for and download legally to enjoy at their own will, as well as an ad for enrolling in American colleges.

Purple dragon...mystical fantasy world...American college, oh yes, I see how we got there now.

Don't worry fellow geeks, the videos still exist in their current forms and I am not to be subjected to any torturous endeavours or fall victim to any Satanic ritual for my crimes... at least not yet, anyway. It just means that someone has actually bothered to take notice of my humble vids and identify the background music from them, providing a handy tool should anyone wish to spend the princely sum of ninety-nine of their hard earned pennies (or something, I haven't checked the exact price yet) on owning a piece of music what you heard in a video.

Luckily they have no grounds to slap a copyright tag on the narration as I can confirm that voice is, in fact, mine.

That Is How You Spell "Diahorretic"

Hello, poor neglected abandoned thing. I knew I wouldn't take care of you very well. It's probably the reason they gave me a bag of flour to cradle that time instead of the real live baby. It's just as well I guess, I got hungry halfway through the day and decided to be resourceful in making what eventually turned out to be shortbread biscuits, which quite frankly could've easily gone horribly wrong had I been allowed to care for the aforementioned real live baby and would've resulted in a mildly grotesque anecdote involving (amongst other things) crying and an empty baby bungee and let's face it, I'm not particularly one for the apparent notion of "dead baby jokes".

I can, of course, confirm that all of the above is a complete lie. Nothing more than a mere fabrication born out the fact that I've not been on this 'ere thingamajigger for a good solid while now. In fact they wouldn't even give me the bag of flour to look after.

Since I've been gone, (even though I've always been here, just not on this particular portion of the Intermaweb) I started doing them kinda talking-loads-of-crap-to-the-camera-edited-together-quickly-in-a-desperate-attempt-at-humour-slash-getting-people-to-like-me videos, then over a short time just didn't any more. Having said that I'll probably reignite that old disposable lighter sometime in the future, but for now, I shall stick to just writing about it. That way you're not thrown off by that god-awful thing I call a face and that slight lispy thing I've got going on with my voice. For now I'm currently two-thirds of the way through uploading the mammoth four-and-a-half hours that is the time about three weeks ago I ended up recording myself playing (and narrating with that slight lispy thing I've got going on with my voice) the first Spyro The Dragon game from way back when computer games were slightly more advanced than left-to-right two-dimensional sprite adventure-thons but not yet reached the stage where you can use a .44 caliber Magnum to blow off the heads of seventeen Artificially Intelligent zombies from 20 paces culminating in you being rewarded with a cacophony of blood and undead brain bits flying in all directions... in High Definition.

Needless to say, I've missed writing/ranting on here. I forgot how much fun it could be. I came here apologising, saying I've not been around for a while before meandering off into the verbal diahorretic nature I seem to find myself accustommed to.

(And yes, that is how you spell "diahorretic"... even if Google did try to fob me off with some lame-ass Americanised "diarrhetic" spelling when I went to check)

But I've decided to hang up the video blog for a wee while, although I'm never saying never again. Ideally, I used to imagine myself as somewhat of a narrator or commentator of some sort since I don't particularly have a pretty face to show off, which is actually quite a shame seeing as the rest of me is... well... I'm a pretty slammin' hottie if I may say so myself. But unfortunately my face is the first aspect of me that people see upon first meeting which makes it even harder to find a suitable female mate. I suppose I could always meet new people in the nude with a paper bag over my head in the hope that my luck may turn slightly but can't help wondering how long it would be before I was gently escorted off to an institution of some sort where they encourage you to talk about your dreams and watch Countdown with the sound off.

However, I fear that my voice is leading me into a similar state of "urgh, nobody wants to listen to that all the time" so my vocal-only option is going ever so slightly down the pan. I guess Spyro was my attempt at commentary/narration/talking a lot in a public-sector and I've managed to bung that up by moving to and from the microphone and subsequently either sound like I'm shouting or mumbling.

So, with my face glamourous enough to be on radio and my voice so crystal clear I could narrate silent movies, I'll stick to the writing aspect of letting my inner thoughts out unto the world. I suppose I'd better get the practice in. I am, after all, studying Creative Writing as a fully full-time student next month.

And I have no excuse not to write here again because I've remembered the password for this thing now.

The Talkies...

So, here it is... over a year after I promised myself I would, I finally dug out the courage to behave like a total idiot on camera solely for the purposes of entertainment. Therefore, if you are not entirely entertained by this I shall consider myself a failure and go back to eating my socks.

Sound levels seem to be my biggest weakness evidently, which I guess I'll need to work on if I ever do get round to making another one of these "talkies". After all that is the plan, hence the name "Introduction". (BTW in case you didn't get it, the "hardly" bit is supposed to be ironic and running in a similar vein to alias "HardlyAmazing", which is itself ironic since I'm actually awesome!)

The Grand Proof-Read of 2011: There was a video here for "Hardly An Introduction" but as far as I can remember, the videos are no longer public, and besides, they weren't that good anyway.

A Wee Matter That Hath Strucketh Me

Regarding the fact that it's been a year since I started the original "aquamaroon" blog (which seemed a decent idea at the time until I got bored of the hosting site and the name itself) and the fact that I've been moaning about not being able to do any of the fun creative shizz I had originally wanted to do, it has occured to me that since I am in fact able to carry out said fun creative shizz now, I actually haven't done anything about it. I think I mentioned in the last post about that ol' notion of "cold feet" and while my feet are physicaly quite warm thanks to the polyester and nylon coating of blackness I currently wear, the internal metaphorical part of these pedals upon which I often walk have plummeted to Antarctic depths.

This idea comes courtesy of a Facebook message I read earlier this evening from a friend who was querying a similar idea... the idea of some random person plonked in front of a rolling camera talking absolute nonsense, visible through a window as hosted on a video hosting website whose name may or may not rhyme with BlueCube. (Not sure if I made that joke on here before... in hindsight I think I probably did and for this I am eternally sorry and shall pay more attention to myself in future. If not, then that's a joke I just made up now off the top of my head)

Basically, I'm struggling to come up with anything to be of talking aboot and if anything I need support and/or guidance.

Prior to this, at a couple of points over the last year I sent messages to the accounts of two rather notorious 'BlueCube' bloggers in the hope that I might receive a brief message of support and/or guidance in return. The names of these bloggers I'm reluctant to reveal for two reasons: [one] quite frankly I wish my messages to remain anonymous and [two] quite frankly I don't feel like giving them much recognition due to the lack of response I received. Spiteful? No! More... deserved, I'd say.

Anyhoo... I think I mentioned previously about biting the bullet but unfortunately the last time someone shot at my mouth, it ended in my teeth shattering into thousands of tiny pieces and consequently resulted in me being kicked out of my magical double act. Either that or nobody's given me any bullets to chew on as a before-dinner snack lately. This is probably just a bit of a copy of the last post but I felt I'd have to write again due to my lack of responses,which seems to be a running theme now anyway.

You Wait Months For A Blog Post And Then Two Come Along At Once!

Although, whoever 'you' may be, bless you for actually reading this.

Anyway, onto the crux of the matter. I couldn't come up with anything for yesterday's addition other than it was the first post of 2010. Admittedly, I sort of regret doing it since it's so short and pointless, but then again that sort of contradicts my "No Regrets" outlook on life. Besides, maybe it's the short pointless ones that are best, I don't know, I tend not to do them. Maybe I should do more though, it would certainly fill out the space and make it at least look 'lived in'.

And going off on another tangent (oh yes, it's gonna be one of those ones), the "No Regrets" approach to life just makes such sense to me. Sure bad things happen in your life (in fact, it just so happens that "Shit Happens, Deal With It" comes in at number 2 in my philosophy chart) but it's the summation of every occurence in your life that moulds and shapes you into the person you are today. So enjoy the good moments, look back at the bad moments and mistakes, learn from them and move on. "Life's Too Fucking Short" (our highest new entry in at number 3).

Back to the point I was originally trying to make until I was rudely interrupted by myself and my ever-sidetracking brain, lately with my adventures in the field of filmmaking, I've been pondering whether to do video blogs of myself either rambling or talking attempts at humorous stories/anecdotes/etc... However, I'm at a stage of 'cold feet' now ,since I have the equipment to produce such material yet my lack of confidence in myself doesn't seem to be pushing me forward into actually sitting myself in front of the camera and reeling off what I might consider to be funny but others may find excruciatingly dull!

Do I bite the virtual bullet and just do it, and if I make an ass of myself then it becomes a case of "oh well, No Regrets"? Or should I maybe consider other routes to inject humour into videos before broadcasting them to the world (i.e. carefully plan myself, aka "Slow And Steady Wins The Race" [#4])?

Discuss if you're there.

Only Three Days Late, But Still...

Farewell to the noughties decade. Now it's the tens/teens/who-cares-about-naming-it decade.

What do I say in this first bloggage of 2010?

Since I last posted: I've worked, I've purchased various material possessions, which over time will decline in physical quality yet will possibly flourish in sentimental value, and I've had a shave.

One Month Later...

See, I told you I wouldn't post "tomorrow"...

At least I think I told you... it's been so long since I've been here I cannae even remember.

Anyway, the end of this festive period is almost over, with Jesus Day down and January nearing and I'm still waiting for the hold of alcoholic intoxication to take over. I have finally resorted to the fact that I shall be remaining sober until 8:47pm, 31 December 2009 and not recovering until 8:47pm, 1 January 2010.

But it's at this time of year I've been on my music spree, with the occasional CD album bought for me by a fat man in a red velour suit and the rest of my wishlist being obtained through the power of iTunes and the art of downloading. And the joy of listening to old voices with new songs is just about keeping me sane for my work in retail, nay but days after everyone finished gathering mounds of shopping.

Anyway, yeah, the rant never came, and I don't think it will for a while since I've been weaving a beautiful tapestry of wonders behind it to link it with several other subjects in the style of stand-up comedy, in an attempt to perform it to the hypothetical crowd in my head and make me feel worthy. Like I said, music is only keeping me slightly sane. The rest of the time I'm susceptible to delusions. Furthermore, I need to work on it if I'm ever going to have the guts to put up videos of me talking to myself on a particular video streaming website, which may or may not rhyme with BlueCube.

Speaking of which, a couple of college vids have managed to make their way up there after painfully long hours of uploading. So long in fact that hibernation managed to take over for a lot of it, thus numbing said pain. Uploading overnight, however, does unsettle me a little since the case of this newish computer contains a fair few handfuls of blue LEDs inside (you know, to make sure you know it's still switched on), and without my glasses on in bed, it creates a strange glowing blue blur sitting in the corner of the pitch black room whirring away thus adding to my insanity and fuelling personal speculation that I may in fact be not of this planet and the Mothership has come to take me back to where I belong.

Just as long as it doesn't take me before New Year's, I don't mind. Need to get a bit bladdered first.

Now go here: http://www.youtube.com/user/HardlyAmazing