Although, whoever 'you' may be, bless you for actually reading this.
Anyway, onto the crux of the matter. I couldn't come up with anything for yesterday's addition other than it was the first post of 2010. Admittedly, I sort of regret doing it since it's so short and pointless, but then again that sort of contradicts my "No Regrets" outlook on life. Besides, maybe it's the short pointless ones that are best, I don't know, I tend not to do them. Maybe I should do more though, it would certainly fill out the space and make it at least look 'lived in'.
And going off on another tangent (oh yes, it's gonna be one of those ones), the "No Regrets" approach to life just makes such sense to me. Sure bad things happen in your life (in fact, it just so happens that "Shit Happens, Deal With It" comes in at number 2 in my philosophy chart) but it's the summation of every occurence in your life that moulds and shapes you into the person you are today. So enjoy the good moments, look back at the bad moments and mistakes, learn from them and move on. "Life's Too Fucking Short" (our highest new entry in at number 3).
Back to the point I was originally trying to make until I was rudely interrupted by myself and my ever-sidetracking brain, lately with my adventures in the field of filmmaking, I've been pondering whether to do video blogs of myself either rambling or talking attempts at humorous stories/anecdotes/etc... However, I'm at a stage of 'cold feet' now ,since I have the equipment to produce such material yet my lack of confidence in myself doesn't seem to be pushing me forward into actually sitting myself in front of the camera and reeling off what I might consider to be funny but others may find excruciatingly dull!
Do I bite the virtual bullet and just do it, and if I make an ass of myself then it becomes a case of "oh well, No Regrets"? Or should I maybe consider other routes to inject humour into videos before broadcasting them to the world (i.e. carefully plan myself, aka "Slow And Steady Wins The Race" [#4])?
Discuss if you're there.
Monday, 4 January 2010
Sunday, 3 January 2010
Only Three Days Late, But Still...
Farewell to the noughties decade. Now it's the tens/teens/who-cares-about-naming-it decade.
What do I say in this first bloggage of 2010?
Since I last posted: I've worked, I've purchased various material possessions, which over time will decline in physical quality yet will possibly flourish in sentimental value, and I've had a shave.
What do I say in this first bloggage of 2010?
Since I last posted: I've worked, I've purchased various material possessions, which over time will decline in physical quality yet will possibly flourish in sentimental value, and I've had a shave.
Sunday, 27 December 2009
One Month Later...
See, I told you I wouldn't post "tomorrow"...
At least I think I told you... it's been so long since I've been here I cannae even remember.
Anyway, the end of this festive period is almost over, with Jesus Day down and January nearing and I'm still waiting for the hold of alcoholic intoxication to take over. I have finally resorted to the fact that I shall be remaining sober until 8:47pm, 31 December 2009 and not recovering until 8:47pm, 1 January 2010.
But it's at this time of year I've been on my music spree, with the occasional CD album bought for me by a fat man in a red velour suit and the rest of my wishlist being obtained through the power of iTunes and the art of downloading. And the joy of listening to old voices with new songs is just about keeping me sane for my work in retail, nay but days after everyone finished gathering mounds of shopping.
Anyway, yeah, the rant never came, and I don't think it will for a while since I've been weaving a beautiful tapestry of wonders behind it to link it with several other subjects in the style of stand-up comedy, in an attempt to perform it to the hypothetical crowd in my head and make me feel worthy. Like I said, music is only keeping me slightly sane. The rest of the time I'm susceptible to delusions. Furthermore, I need to work on it if I'm ever going to have the guts to put up videos of me talking to myself on a particular video streaming website, which may or may not rhyme with BlueCube.
Speaking of which, a couple of college vids have managed to make their way up there after painfully long hours of uploading. So long in fact that hibernation managed to take over for a lot of it, thus numbing said pain. Uploading overnight, however, does unsettle me a little since the case of this newish computer contains a fair few handfuls of blue LEDs inside (you know, to make sure you know it's still switched on), and without my glasses on in bed, it creates a strange glowing blue blur sitting in the corner of the pitch black room whirring away thus adding to my insanity and fuelling personal speculation that I may in fact be not of this planet and the Mothership has come to take me back to where I belong.
Just as long as it doesn't take me before New Year's, I don't mind. Need to get a bit bladdered first.
Now go here: http://www.youtube.com/user/HardlyAmazing
At least I think I told you... it's been so long since I've been here I cannae even remember.
Anyway, the end of this festive period is almost over, with Jesus Day down and January nearing and I'm still waiting for the hold of alcoholic intoxication to take over. I have finally resorted to the fact that I shall be remaining sober until 8:47pm, 31 December 2009 and not recovering until 8:47pm, 1 January 2010.
But it's at this time of year I've been on my music spree, with the occasional CD album bought for me by a fat man in a red velour suit and the rest of my wishlist being obtained through the power of iTunes and the art of downloading. And the joy of listening to old voices with new songs is just about keeping me sane for my work in retail, nay but days after everyone finished gathering mounds of shopping.
Anyway, yeah, the rant never came, and I don't think it will for a while since I've been weaving a beautiful tapestry of wonders behind it to link it with several other subjects in the style of stand-up comedy, in an attempt to perform it to the hypothetical crowd in my head and make me feel worthy. Like I said, music is only keeping me slightly sane. The rest of the time I'm susceptible to delusions. Furthermore, I need to work on it if I'm ever going to have the guts to put up videos of me talking to myself on a particular video streaming website, which may or may not rhyme with BlueCube.
Speaking of which, a couple of college vids have managed to make their way up there after painfully long hours of uploading. So long in fact that hibernation managed to take over for a lot of it, thus numbing said pain. Uploading overnight, however, does unsettle me a little since the case of this newish computer contains a fair few handfuls of blue LEDs inside (you know, to make sure you know it's still switched on), and without my glasses on in bed, it creates a strange glowing blue blur sitting in the corner of the pitch black room whirring away thus adding to my insanity and fuelling personal speculation that I may in fact be not of this planet and the Mothership has come to take me back to where I belong.
Just as long as it doesn't take me before New Year's, I don't mind. Need to get a bit bladdered first.
Now go here: http://www.youtube.com/user/HardlyAmazing
Saturday, 28 November 2009
We Are The Chronologically Challenged Of Today
Because apparently we can't use the word "Youth" any more for fear of hurting kids' feelings, whether they have knives and knuckle-dusters or not.
'It's OK if you hurt my feelings, I'll just hurt your kidneys'
Anyhoo, I just read that Politically Correct/Incorrect/Debatable/Neutral/Who-the-hell-really-cares story and decided to write somewhere about it and figured "Hey... I've got this..."
I've been observing a certain aspect about young people recently, though. Mainly in habits and attitudes and I've pretty much had this whole rant about a certain something circling around in my head for weeks now. I've wanted to put it up here but out of fear of looking like I hate people and looking like I want to make them look bad, I've had cold feet about the whole thing. Having said that, it's just come to my attention that it's extrememly likely that nobody is actually reading this. Hell, I doubt anybody knows this space on the web exists.
Maybe tomorrow then. I'm too tired now and what with the silly season approaching thick and fast now (Remember folks, just another 26 shopping days left before the anniversary of the birth of some magical fellow called Jesus and the death of some musical fellow called James Brown) people, more specifically 'customers', are becoming more and more wrapped up (no pun intended) in their holiday shopping. The consequence of this, more stupidity, more stuff left lying around unwanted, more ignorance and arrogance leading to me doing more work. And I know, work is supposed to be just that, work. But I can't help feeling a little co-operation would be at least showcased at some point.
Ack, just moaning on and on about nothing I can do anything about, I guess. But still, the worst perpetrators tend to be those further on up the chronological scale. I would call them "Old" but out of fear of being considered Politically Incorrect, I'd like to settle for "Youthfully Challenged". Of course, as previously established, we shouldn't really use "Youth" any more and so I therefore have no other alternative but to opt for labelling these folk... (deep breath) "Chronologically Challenged, Challenged". However, much like when two negatives cancel each other out and form a positive, so too do the two 'challenges' neutralise each other. So really, the best way to describe the older generation is "Chronological"... or the very definition of Time itself!
Like I said, nobody's reading this... at least not any more!
'It's OK if you hurt my feelings, I'll just hurt your kidneys'
Anyhoo, I just read that Politically Correct/Incorrect/Debatable/Neutral/Who-the-hell-really-cares story and decided to write somewhere about it and figured "Hey... I've got this..."
I've been observing a certain aspect about young people recently, though. Mainly in habits and attitudes and I've pretty much had this whole rant about a certain something circling around in my head for weeks now. I've wanted to put it up here but out of fear of looking like I hate people and looking like I want to make them look bad, I've had cold feet about the whole thing. Having said that, it's just come to my attention that it's extrememly likely that nobody is actually reading this. Hell, I doubt anybody knows this space on the web exists.
Maybe tomorrow then. I'm too tired now and what with the silly season approaching thick and fast now (Remember folks, just another 26 shopping days left before the anniversary of the birth of some magical fellow called Jesus and the death of some musical fellow called James Brown) people, more specifically 'customers', are becoming more and more wrapped up (no pun intended) in their holiday shopping. The consequence of this, more stupidity, more stuff left lying around unwanted, more ignorance and arrogance leading to me doing more work. And I know, work is supposed to be just that, work. But I can't help feeling a little co-operation would be at least showcased at some point.
Ack, just moaning on and on about nothing I can do anything about, I guess. But still, the worst perpetrators tend to be those further on up the chronological scale. I would call them "Old" but out of fear of being considered Politically Incorrect, I'd like to settle for "Youthfully Challenged". Of course, as previously established, we shouldn't really use "Youth" any more and so I therefore have no other alternative but to opt for labelling these folk... (deep breath) "Chronologically Challenged, Challenged". However, much like when two negatives cancel each other out and form a positive, so too do the two 'challenges' neutralise each other. So really, the best way to describe the older generation is "Chronological"... or the very definition of Time itself!
Like I said, nobody's reading this... at least not any more!
Monday, 23 November 2009
Greeeetings from Windows 7!!!
So here it is! Finally, the end to all my pissing and moaning about not having any decent equipment to get on with work of the moving visual kind.
I finally have a funkay computer (which is, like, a step up from "funky") with the capabilities of Windows 7 thrown onto it, with such features as snapping things to the sides, shaking single windows to clear the place up, and some weird cursor glow over active programs in the taskbar... and no, I'm not actually a representative of Microsoft biggin' it up fo' da Windows 7 massive! I just find it quite funky, or funkay as I've already established. But it does run at an impecable speed that if only my Internet connection could keep up I'd be so ecstatic I might as well pop, which would unfortunately cause quite a mess in this little corner of my room where I've set everything up.
....Anyway, with all good things come a downside... the crippling downside of this one being that as of this day I have no edit software on the dang-blasted thing. Still I'm remaining optimistic, despite the fact that it was actually being pessimistic that got me to this point.
See this time last week, in that pathetic excuse for an institute of learning we affectionately call "college" (because let's face it, "pathetic excuse for an institute of learning" just uses too much breath), I was feeling like I was getting nowhere very slowly with three projects to complete within just shy of a month and no discernable way of physically doing them, I needed to take matters into my own hands. Screw saving! Four hundred and eight of my hard-earned pounds went into fuelling the bits and bobs which would eventually become the machine I so affectionately call "Clancy". Over the course of the week a wee bit more was pissed away on my endeavours to get the latest W7 (that's short for "Windows 7" since I can't be bothered typing out "Windows 7" every time... even though I now realise I just typed it twice) and a monitor of sorts so that I can actually view what ol' Clancy's trying to show us.
Pretty much, it's now a Monday on from last Monday and I still feel like I'm getting nowhere slowly with said three projects. Nevertheless, the difference between this week and last is that now I'm confident I'll actually be able to get something done without having to rely on the institute of apparent nothingness.
I am of course exaggerating here. Obviously the college does have suffienct equipment available for its students... just very limited access to it. That is until now, since of course numerous amounts of complaints have finally led to someone making a decision this week into allowing us more access. But I say "too little too late, mere mortals! I've got a Clancy now!"
"Why Clancy?" you may ask, to which I reply with an incoherent "Uh-unno?" accompanied with a jolt of the shoulders and pathetic head tilt.
In other news, certain people have come back into my life, same people have left my life once again, and the world keeps on spinnin'... just like my poor confused brain!!!!!
I finally have a funkay computer (which is, like, a step up from "funky") with the capabilities of Windows 7 thrown onto it, with such features as snapping things to the sides, shaking single windows to clear the place up, and some weird cursor glow over active programs in the taskbar... and no, I'm not actually a representative of Microsoft biggin' it up fo' da Windows 7 massive! I just find it quite funky, or funkay as I've already established. But it does run at an impecable speed that if only my Internet connection could keep up I'd be so ecstatic I might as well pop, which would unfortunately cause quite a mess in this little corner of my room where I've set everything up.
....Anyway, with all good things come a downside... the crippling downside of this one being that as of this day I have no edit software on the dang-blasted thing. Still I'm remaining optimistic, despite the fact that it was actually being pessimistic that got me to this point.
See this time last week, in that pathetic excuse for an institute of learning we affectionately call "college" (because let's face it, "pathetic excuse for an institute of learning" just uses too much breath), I was feeling like I was getting nowhere very slowly with three projects to complete within just shy of a month and no discernable way of physically doing them, I needed to take matters into my own hands. Screw saving! Four hundred and eight of my hard-earned pounds went into fuelling the bits and bobs which would eventually become the machine I so affectionately call "Clancy". Over the course of the week a wee bit more was pissed away on my endeavours to get the latest W7 (that's short for "Windows 7" since I can't be bothered typing out "Windows 7" every time... even though I now realise I just typed it twice) and a monitor of sorts so that I can actually view what ol' Clancy's trying to show us.
Pretty much, it's now a Monday on from last Monday and I still feel like I'm getting nowhere slowly with said three projects. Nevertheless, the difference between this week and last is that now I'm confident I'll actually be able to get something done without having to rely on the institute of apparent nothingness.
I am of course exaggerating here. Obviously the college does have suffienct equipment available for its students... just very limited access to it. That is until now, since of course numerous amounts of complaints have finally led to someone making a decision this week into allowing us more access. But I say "too little too late, mere mortals! I've got a Clancy now!"
"Why Clancy?" you may ask, to which I reply with an incoherent "Uh-unno?" accompanied with a jolt of the shoulders and pathetic head tilt.
In other news, certain people have come back into my life, same people have left my life once again, and the world keeps on spinnin'... just like my poor confused brain!!!!!
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
Insert Title
So, I've been having a bit of a crisis of Faith as of late. But don't let that keep you from reading this shit.
I've been trying to adopt a new style of writing (or really a more "natural" style of writing to me as you might see from the previous post) mixing rant and rhyme together in a bit of a flowing manner. However, after that first one I seem to be struggling, hence it's not coming to me as naturally as one might hope. And whenever I try to write something funky it turns out to be some sort of self-indulgent rant about some bad thing or another (...take this, for example) with no rhyme or flowing structure at all.
What's more is that my seemingly endless venture into attempting to get some form of magnificent computerised technology with some form of magnificent video editing software capabilities is... well... just that. Seemingly endless.
Basically, I feel like I'm going nowhere slowly and just want something to get done.
They say that patience is a virtue and all good things come to those who wait, but at this rate I'm half-expecting the world handed to me on a plate (Hey! That rhymed a lot... see I can do it when I'm just blagging my blogging). Waiting just seems to wear me down and I'm getting pretty darn tired.
Either that or this tiredness is coming from the coldyness that's been plaguing my throat for the last few days.
I've been trying to adopt a new style of writing (or really a more "natural" style of writing to me as you might see from the previous post) mixing rant and rhyme together in a bit of a flowing manner. However, after that first one I seem to be struggling, hence it's not coming to me as naturally as one might hope. And whenever I try to write something funky it turns out to be some sort of self-indulgent rant about some bad thing or another (...take this, for example) with no rhyme or flowing structure at all.
What's more is that my seemingly endless venture into attempting to get some form of magnificent computerised technology with some form of magnificent video editing software capabilities is... well... just that. Seemingly endless.
Basically, I feel like I'm going nowhere slowly and just want something to get done.
They say that patience is a virtue and all good things come to those who wait, but at this rate I'm half-expecting the world handed to me on a plate (Hey! That rhymed a lot... see I can do it when I'm just blagging my blogging). Waiting just seems to wear me down and I'm getting pretty darn tired.
Either that or this tiredness is coming from the coldyness that's been plaguing my throat for the last few days.
Tuesday, 13 October 2009
I Wanna Be A Student
OK, so it’s been three years since I started,
And three years since I stopped it
So technically I should’ve finished by now
But instead I’m only just ready to begin.
Hey, it’s not my fault my brain wasn’t in the mindset of your average eighteen-year-old
I was just doing what I was told
Fitting in the mould
Out in the cold
Helplessly watching this sequence of events unfold
The world was waiting for me but I wasn’t ready for the world
So I just popped down the road for a bit instead
But now it’s three years on
And I am really really glad of where I am now and what I’ve done
But really, honest and true
I’ve done what I’ve done and now I wanna do what I wanna do
I need to cut this dead-end job
Of monotony
Going out of my mind, I might need a lobotomy
Maybe look to astronomy
To decide if I continue with my work in the field of cinematography
In a place where I could do crazy shit like getting drunk and playing Monopoly
...’til 3am
And yes,
I’d like to be poor
And be in debt
And live in a box room
That I’ve just got to let
And bump into people in the halls who I’ve never even met
And have a multitude of good times I’ll never forget
Except, of course, excessive amounts of alcohol will unfortunately force me to forget
But it’ll be the best
I can be pissed all the night
I can be hungover while I write
I can balls up in the edit
I can max out my credit
I can sleep through the day
I can act even more gay
I can say what I’ll want to say
Because nobody will know me
And that thought really scares me
And that’s what really thrills me
And I hope to God it’ll be what fulfils me
And even if it doesn’t
Having a clean slate should be fun
Sure, I’ll be the old guy, the twenty-one
Amongst eighteens
But in between all the caffeine and the baked beans
I can at least be free
Instead of trapped, not working to the full
Instead of wrapped in cotton wool
Like I have been for oh, so long
Maybe I’m totally wrong
Maybe it’s not me
Maybe it’s not my “scene”
But anything’s worth a go
If it seems like it could be better than this hole
Better than thinking and writing it all down with this pen
Dammit,
I wanna be a student again!
And three years since I stopped it
So technically I should’ve finished by now
But instead I’m only just ready to begin.
Hey, it’s not my fault my brain wasn’t in the mindset of your average eighteen-year-old
I was just doing what I was told
Fitting in the mould
Out in the cold
Helplessly watching this sequence of events unfold
The world was waiting for me but I wasn’t ready for the world
So I just popped down the road for a bit instead
But now it’s three years on
And I am really really glad of where I am now and what I’ve done
But really, honest and true
I’ve done what I’ve done and now I wanna do what I wanna do
I need to cut this dead-end job
Of monotony
Going out of my mind, I might need a lobotomy
Maybe look to astronomy
To decide if I continue with my work in the field of cinematography
In a place where I could do crazy shit like getting drunk and playing Monopoly
...’til 3am
And yes,
I’d like to be poor
And be in debt
And live in a box room
That I’ve just got to let
And bump into people in the halls who I’ve never even met
And have a multitude of good times I’ll never forget
Except, of course, excessive amounts of alcohol will unfortunately force me to forget
But it’ll be the best
I can be pissed all the night
I can be hungover while I write
I can balls up in the edit
I can max out my credit
I can sleep through the day
I can act even more gay
I can say what I’ll want to say
Because nobody will know me
And that thought really scares me
And that’s what really thrills me
And I hope to God it’ll be what fulfils me
And even if it doesn’t
Having a clean slate should be fun
Sure, I’ll be the old guy, the twenty-one
Amongst eighteens
But in between all the caffeine and the baked beans
I can at least be free
Instead of trapped, not working to the full
Instead of wrapped in cotton wool
Like I have been for oh, so long
Maybe I’m totally wrong
Maybe it’s not me
Maybe it’s not my “scene”
But anything’s worth a go
If it seems like it could be better than this hole
Better than thinking and writing it all down with this pen
Dammit,
I wanna be a student again!
The Grand Proof-Read of 2011: I'd like it to be known that this is pretty much the original starting point of my ventures as a writer. A slightly amended version of this garnered a fairly positive response in an early Creative Writing seminar in my first year of University, some two years after this was written.
Friday, 18 September 2009
Why Can't People Take A Day Off From Shopping?
I only ask since I would prefer a day off from working!
Anyway, enough of peasant life. Bring on the rant about nothing.
I really actually have nothing to say here. Then again I always begin by saying I have nothing to say before reeling off paragraphs of crap that suddenly seem to occur in my brain and travel down through my fingers and into the appropriate corresponding letters and symbols in order to make them make sense... or not make sense as the case may be.
But since it's past the midnight hour and the folks would like to queue up for their shopping at 9am on the dot, I'm afraid I shan't be staying long. It's just too much to keep my eyes from closing.
I just wanted to keep this place barely alive and un-neglected as I so often do with it, and hope to give this place a big boost before the end of the year when (if all goes as planned which it never does because plans [especially plans made by me] oft go a wee bit fooked up) I hope to FINALLY be able to create and post video clips to the Tube of You, thanks to an almighty super-computer with the appropriate capabilities to do such things.
Until then, my channel looks fairly empty, apart from several favourited videos (made by other people who aren't me, don't ya know?) which include what appears to be the German version of "Spitting Image", that video we did for college where I end it trying to sell vodka whilst having suffered the detrimental effects of a pitch-changer, and that one from a Russian documentary with a drunk guy in the background staring at the camera and falling over.
All this joy (and more, yes I've favourited more of this shite) can be found here, this link, you know... this purpley bit which redirects you to another corner of the Web if you click on it... go on, click on it.... it won't bite.
Anyway, enough of peasant life. Bring on the rant about nothing.
I really actually have nothing to say here. Then again I always begin by saying I have nothing to say before reeling off paragraphs of crap that suddenly seem to occur in my brain and travel down through my fingers and into the appropriate corresponding letters and symbols in order to make them make sense... or not make sense as the case may be.
But since it's past the midnight hour and the folks would like to queue up for their shopping at 9am on the dot, I'm afraid I shan't be staying long. It's just too much to keep my eyes from closing.
I just wanted to keep this place barely alive and un-neglected as I so often do with it, and hope to give this place a big boost before the end of the year when (if all goes as planned which it never does because plans [especially plans made by me] oft go a wee bit fooked up) I hope to FINALLY be able to create and post video clips to the Tube of You, thanks to an almighty super-computer with the appropriate capabilities to do such things.
Until then, my channel looks fairly empty, apart from several favourited videos (made by other people who aren't me, don't ya know?) which include what appears to be the German version of "Spitting Image", that video we did for college where I end it trying to sell vodka whilst having suffered the detrimental effects of a pitch-changer, and that one from a Russian documentary with a drunk guy in the background staring at the camera and falling over.
All this joy (and more, yes I've favourited more of this shite) can be found here, this link, you know... this purpley bit which redirects you to another corner of the Web if you click on it... go on, click on it.... it won't bite.
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